I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
