I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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