You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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