i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
