when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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