Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
