Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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