please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
