Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
