Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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