party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
