Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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