don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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