so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
