I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
This house was built for laser tag.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
