so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
