I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
