I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
