Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
