he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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