She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
