i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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