It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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