I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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