Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
