My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
