3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
