we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
