Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
