I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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