Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
