I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
