u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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