i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
