Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
