im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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