We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
