she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
