so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
