onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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