Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
