Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize