yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
