it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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