Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
