I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
