I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
