i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
