I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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