Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
