Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
