the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
