Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
