Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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