What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
