Kiss
Puke
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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