It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
