Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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