Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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